This One is for You, Ethan

Does anybody have that friend who is just a fucking asshole? The Grammar Nazi, the Armchair Activist, The Omnipotent and All-Knowing Allah of Politics, Science, and Ethics who can successfully turn a joke about blow jobs into an all-out debate about the greatest evils of mankind? Yeah, this one is for that guy.

Alright, fella, we all know that your ego is a voracious beast that must be fed several hundred pounds of raw meat daily. Generally speaking, we tolerate you because we're mature, peaceful people and we don't have the energy to go fist-to-cuffs with you in every conversation. You're even likeable when you're in normal person mode.

It's just those times when you have to pop in from nowhere to criticize a light-hearted conversation that really, really make me want to reach through the computer and choke the living shit out of you.

So let's break this down. That particular argument was "education does not equal intelligence," which apparently didn't agree with my previous post expressing consternation about syntax (also for someone who thinks I'm a moronic asshole, he sure pays a lot of attention to my Facebook). In layman's terms, thinly veiled behind your passion and excellent verbal skills, you're calling me a hypocritical idiot.

Oh. My. God. The English language is something that must be taught. Taught. Teaching. Learning. Education. Even native speakers are still taught the language.

And you're calling me a hypocrite? Oh wait, that's right. The term was "flawed logic."

You are exactly the kind of person that (light-hearted, remember) post was talking about. Exactly that kind of person. You have the standard ethnocentric white boy mentality that people who struggle with your native language are stupid.

I don't know if you were able to realize this through your blinders of moral outrage, but we're on the same team here. We agree that education and intelligence are not one and the same. What we disagree on is the means of measurement. So not only did you make yourself look like an ass, you alienated a potential ally. Good on you.

Also, my argument has science backing it up. Yours is just a bunch of redneck pondering. Which is what you are, no matter how much time you spend on the internet.